Welcome to helpthebereaved.com

Hello, my name is Charlotte Martin and this is my story. My only child Keith, drowned in a boating accident two days after he and his wife, Heidi learned they were going to have a baby girl. In an instant I went from being one of the strongest individuals one could ever hope to meet—to being the most devastated individual that you could ever imagine. In spite of all the grief books I read with the “pull yourself up by the bootstraps” kind of advice, nothing seemed to work for me. I could not just “snap out of it” as others suggested I do. I no longer wanted to play golf, ride horses, ski, canoe, travel or continue studying Tae-kwon-do and jiu-jitsu. I was no longer able to work at my job as a court reporter and legal assistant that I had dearly loved for over twenty years.

I attempted suicide. A psychiatrist was sent to the emergency room to talk to me. She told me if I did not find support and understanding that she feared I would commit suicide. I searched diligently for understanding for the next nine years. But understanding was almost non-existent except with other bereaved parents. It was my determination to install some understanding in others that kept me going—and it keeps me going still. I firmly believe that others can be taught sufficient understanding so that they may be supportive and helpful to the bereaved. I have produced a video that I believe accomplishes that.

My hope is that when the next bereaved parent reaches out for help, there will be help, understanding, and support. It is true that no one could have done anything to take away my pain. But there was plenty they could have done to help me through my pain. People seem to think there’s nothing anyone can do to help. There could not be anything further from the truth. My goal is to change this way of thinking—and it is way past time that it changes. We live in a day when we talk about how much torture is too much torture. It is torture to lose a child --  and it is way too much torture when others do not have a clue how to help us.

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